2 of Dave's Final 'Top 10' Lines Written by Intern
2 of Dave's Final 'Top 10'
Lines Written by Intern 
May 27, 2015 11:21 AM CDT
Santorum Will Run ... but Can He Beat the Yawn Factor?
 Santorum Will 
 Run ... but Can 
 He Beat the 
 Yawn Factor? 
May 27, 2015 11:02 AM CDT
Woman Bitten by Black Widow Lurking in Her Grapes
 Woman Bitten 
 by Black Widow 
 Lurking in Her 
 Grapes 
May 27, 2015 10:32 AM CDT
Duggar Dad's Stance on Incest Is ... Interesting
 Duggar Dad's 
 Stance on Incest 
 Is ... Interesting 
May 27, 2015 10:05 AM CDT
The World Has Gotten a Lot Less Hungry


 The World Has 
 Gotten a Lot 
 Less Hungry 
UN REPORT
May 27, 2015 9:47 AM CDT
Sam Shepard Charged With 2nd Suspected DWI
Sam Shepard Charged With 2nd Suspected DWI
May 27, 2015 9:27 AM CDT
advertisement
America's 10 Skinniest States
 America's 10 Skinniest States 
May 27, 2015 9:10 AM CDT
Baby Makes 100 for Illinois Grandparents
 Baby Makes 100 for 
 Illinois Grandparents 
May 27, 2015 8:48 AM CDT
Bristol Palin Addresses, Doesn't Explain Non-Wedding
 Bristol Palin 
 Addresses, 
 Doesn't Explain 
 Non-Wedding 
May 27, 2015 8:27 AM CDT
Taliban We Traded for Bergdahl Can Soon Travel
Taliban We Traded for Bergdahl Can Soon Travel
May 27, 2015 8:11 AM CDT
No, Planets Aligning Won't Cause a 9.8 Quake
 Relax: 
 Planets Aligning 
 Won't Cause 
 'Big One' Tomorrow 
May 27, 2015 7:52 AM CDT
Study IDs Number of Drinks 'Beyond the Safe Level'
Study IDs Number of Drinks 'Beyond the Safe Level'
May 27, 2015 7:36 AM CDT
advertisement
World Soccer Execs Arrested on US Orders
 World Soccer Execs 
 Arrested on US Orders 
UPDATED
May 27, 2015 7:03 AM CDT
Among the 11 Missing in Texas: Family Torn From Dad
 Among the 11 
 Missing in Texas: 
 Family Torn 
 From Dad 
May 27, 2015 6:44 AM CDT
Penn State Suspends Frat for 3 Years for Nude Pics, Hazing
 Penn State Suspends 
 Frat for 3 Years for 
 Nude Pics, Hazing 
May 27, 2015 6:35 AM CDT
Trial Finally Opens Dark Knight Shooter's Diary
 Dark Knight 
 Shooter's Diary 
 Finally Opened 
May 27, 2015 5:03 AM CDT
New Skin Cancer Hope: Herpes?
Scientists Fight Skin Cancer With Herpes—Successfully
May 27, 2015 4:53 AM CDT
Taylor Swift Can Save Students From Final Exam
Taylor Swift Can Save Students From Final Exam
May 27, 2015 3:26 AM CDT
advertisement
Nebraska Gov. Uses Pen to Keep Death Penalty Alive
Nebraska Gov. Uses Pen to Keep Death Penalty Alive
May 27, 2015 12:52 AM CDT
13 Still Missing in Texas Floods
 13 Still Missing 
 in Texas Floods 
May 26, 2015 7:00 PM CDT
IRS to 104K Taxpayers: Thieves Stole Your Data on Our Site
 IRS to 104K Taxpayers: 
 Thieves Stole Your 
 Data on Our Site 
May 26, 2015 6:40 PM CDT
Obama's Immigration Reform Takes a Big Hit in Court
Obama's Immigration Reform Takes a Big Hit in Court
May 26, 2015 5:48 PM CDT
'Melting Roads': Heat Wave Kills 1.1K in India
 'Melting Roads': 
 Heat Wave 
 Kills 1.1K 
 in India 
May 26, 2015 5:09 PM CDT
8 of the Newest Words in Merriam-Webster
8 of the Newest Words
in Merriam-Webster
May 26, 2015 4:42 PM CDT
advertisement
Radio DJ Kills Bunny With Bicycle Pump Live on Air
 Radio DJ Kills 
 Bunny With 
 Bicycle Pump 
 Live on Air 
May 26, 2015 4:11 PM CDT
Man Showing Kids a Cherry Picker Kills One
 Man Showing Kids a 
 Cherry Picker Kills One 
May 26, 2015 3:46 PM CDT
Charlie Charlie Challenge: Demon Calling Goes Viral
Charlie Charlie Challenge: Demon Calling Goes Viral
May 26, 2015 3:24 PM CDT
Dow Sinks 190 on Rising Dollar
 Dow Sinks 190 
 on Rising Dollar 
thestreet
May 26, 2015 3:05 PM CDT
Cops: Suspect Pulled Paddle From Drowning Fiance
Cops: Suspect Pulled Paddle From Drowning Fiance
May 26, 2015 2:51 PM CDT
KFC Is Spending $185M to Win You Back
KFC Is Spending $185M
to Win You Back
May 26, 2015 2:32 PM CDT
advertisement
Cops: Yale Student Stabs Fellow Student, Kills Self
Cops: Yale Student Stabs Fellow Student, Kills Self
May 26, 2015 2:12 PM CDT
Senior Prank Involving 72K Ladybugs Ends Poorly
 Senior Prank 
 Involving 
 72K Ladybugs 
 Ends Poorly 
May 26, 2015 2:02 PM CDT
If Clinton Tanks, Democrats Have Only One Alternative

 If Clinton Tanks, 
 Democrats Have 
 Only One 
 Alternative 
OPINION
May 26, 2015 1:47 PM CDT
Autopsy Inconclusive for Boy Found Dead on Swing
Autopsy Inconclusive for
Boy Found Dead on Swing
May 26, 2015 1:33 PM CDT
Pope Francis Remembers Last Day He Watched TV
 Pope Francis 
 Remembers 
 Last Day He 
 Watched TV 
May 26, 2015 1:21 PM CDT
Jon Stewart Has Been Helping Veterans on the Sly
Jon Stewart Has Been Helping Veterans on the Sly
May 26, 2015 1:04 PM CDT
advertisement
'Surreal': 56 Shot, 12 Killed Over Chicago Weekend
'Surreal': 56 Shot, 12 Killed Over Weekend in Chicago
May 26, 2015 12:48 PM CDT
See How Rich You'd Be If You Had Eloped
 See How Rich 
 You'd Be If You 
 Had Eloped 
May 26, 2015 12:34 PM CDT
ObamaCare Authors Say 'Drafting Error' Might Doom It
 ObamaCare 
 Authors Say 
 'Drafting Error' 
 Might Doom It 
May 26, 2015 12:14 PM CDT
Top Secret JFK Files Coming Soon—Maybe
 Top-Secret JFK Files 
 Coming Soon—Maybe 
May 26, 2015 11:45 AM CDT
Sikh Man Breaks Protocol, Removes Turban to Help Boy
 Sikh Man 
 Breaks Protocol, 
 Removes Turban 
 to Help Boy 
May 26, 2015 11:24 AM CDT
Johnny Depp's Dog Mess Gets Messier
 Johnny Depp's 
 Dog Mess 
 Gets Messier 
May 26, 2015 10:57 AM CDT
advertisement
More Taxi Drivers Die on the Job Than Cops
 More Taxi Drivers 
 Die on the Job 
 Than Cops 
May 26, 2015 10:42 AM CDT
Martin Sheen on Charlie's Implosion: Steroids
Martin Sheen on Charlie's
Implosion: Steroids
May 26, 2015 10:21 AM CDT
Apple's Design Guru Gets a Promotion
 Apple's Design Guru 
 Gets a Promotion 
May 26, 2015 10:03 AM CDT
2016 Gets a New Long Shot: George Pataki
 2016 Gets a 
 New Long Shot: 
 George Pataki 
May 26, 2015 9:38 AM CDT
World's Smallest Dolphin Could Vanish in 15 Years
 World's Smallest Dolphin 
 Could Vanish in 15 Years 
May 26, 2015 9:17 AM CDT
Omar Sharif Has Alzheimer's
 Omar Sharif 
 Has Alzheimer's 
May 26, 2015 8:52 AM CDT
Get the news faster.
Tap to install our app.
X
Install the Newser News app
in two easy steps:
1. Tap in your navigation bar.
2. Tap to Add to Home Screen.

X