Marines Ban Audible Farts in Afghanistan

US military leaders, sensitive to winning hearts and minds in Afghanistan, have instituted several unloved regulations on troops there—no swearing, no talking about volatile subjects like politics or girls. But now leaders apparently want to win ears and noses, too, as they have introduced an unusual no-no—no farting, according to the Military Times.

In particular, the rule is no audible farts for downrange marines. "But farting? That’s practically a sport," writes Gina Cavallaro. "OK, it’s not soccer, but a good contest could open the door for cross-cultural exchanges, jokes, and other gallows humor." Or perhaps the top brass is just overly sensitive to criticism that the US forces in Afghanistan could cut-and-run... (More Afghanistan stories.)