Alleged Crime: Attempt to Bite Guy's Penis Off

In Tulsa, a man has narrowly avoided the brutal loss of a key appendage, KJRH reports. Amber Ellis, 32, and her boyfriend were feuding "about how needy she had become" last week after they had been drinking, according to a police report. At home afterward, they slept separately. The man awoke in the middle of an attack, he reportedly told police: Ellis was allegedly in the (unsuccessful) process of "biting his (penis) off."

After he got her off of him, she allegedly decided to use a weapon in the form of a laptop computer aimed at his head. The man was hospitalized, receiving stitches on the base of his penis as well as treatment for head, face, neck, knee, and finger injuries. Ellis was held on a $45,000 bond, the Houston Chronicle reports, after she was arrested on charges of maiming and assault with a dangerous weapon. (Here are tips for replacing a lost penis.)