Cops: Guy Uses Summons to Wipe Butt, Then Throws It

Well, Joseph Greenwood, tell us what you really thought of your police summons. Authorities say the 45-year-old New Jersey man received a summons after being released on a municipal court charge of threatening to assault someone, and he allegedly placed it between his "butt cheeks," per the indictment, wiped it up and down, and threw it at a cop. The alleged incident took place back in June, MyCentralJersey.com reports. Greenwood was indicted on charges of throwing bodily fluids; the fourth-degree crime could put him behind bars for as many as 18 months. (More weird crimes stories.)