90-Year-Old Busted Over Prostitute Has Priceless Response

When you're 90 years old, most people give you a pass to do certain things without question—eat what you want, nap all day, watch Columbo marathons, solicit prostitutes … well, maybe not that last one. At least not in Dennis Port, Mass., where a nonagenarian was arraigned Tuesday for allegedly doing just that, the Cape Code Times reports. Nicholas Salerno is accused of procuring the services of Karen Proia, nearly half his age at 48, allegedly paying her $100 to perform a sex act on June 22, Orleans District Court records note.

And that alleged interlude may have gone unnoticed by law enforcement, except that Salerno filed a police report a little over a week later claiming Proia had stolen a necklace from him (the jewelry was later recovered at a local pawnshop, MassLive.com reports). When a cop informed Salerno he'd be charged with a crime, too—solicitation in his case—Salerno reminded that whippersnapper what's what. "I don't give a [expletive]. I'm 90 years old," he reportedly exclaimed. Salerno and Proia, who was charged with larceny and prostitution, pleaded not guilty at their Tuesday arraignments. (A drone caught an elderly man on camera engaging in some questionable behavior.)