Lawyer Forced to Eat Chicken With Hands Sues

A lawyer in Gulfport, Miss., says he choked on a piece of chicken and it's all Popeyes fault. Paul Newton Jr. says he was served a plastic spork, rather than a knife, with his chicken meal at a Popeyes drive-thru on Nov. 1, 2015, and was therefore forced to "hold a chicken breast in his hands and ... tear off pieces thereof with his teeth," according to a lawsuit filed Monday. Perhaps because his teeth were doing too much tearing and not enough chewing, Newton claims he choked on a piece of chicken that became lodged in his throat and had to be removed with emergency surgery, per WLOX.

Newton now wants compensation for his medical expenses, "pain and suffering, and any other nonpecuniary damages," the lawsuit reads. He's also asking that Popeyes be required to give drive-thru customers a plastic knife with each order so they can "cut their purchased food orders into appropriate portions." One former Popeyes employee who spoke to WLOX had only this to say about the lawsuit: "If you choke on your chicken and you have to get the chicken removed from your throat, it’s not because Popeyes didn't apply a knife to the box. Maybe you should slow down eating. Nobody eats chicken with utensils." Eater notes Donald Trump, however, does. (This employee sued Popeyes after a robbery.)