The Truth Comes Out About This Obscene Skywriting

It wasn't a bird and it wasn't a plane—it was male genitalia, and Navy Times has gotten to the bottom of it. We already knew that a Navy aircraft drew the obscene skywriting over Washington state in 2017, but details remained scant. According to a newly released report, a shy, introverted pilot was persuaded by his cockpit partner to draw the phallic image during a standard 90-minute training flight over Okanogan County. "My initial reaction was no, bad," the pilot wrote afterward. "But for some reason still unknown to me, I eventually decided to do it." Seems it all began when the electronic warfare officer, or EWO, stumbled on the idea. "Draw a giant penis," he said, per the report. "That would be awesome."

"I could definitely draw one, that would be easy," said the EA-18G Growler pilot. "I could basically draw a figure eight and turn around and come back." So he drew the testes ("Balls are going to be a little lopsided," he warned) and discussed the shape of the head and shaft with the EWO as the contrail drawing ensued. Praise came in from their partner jet: "Your artwork is amazing," radioed the other EWO. But at ground level, an Okanogan mom complained to KREM that she might have to explain the artwork to her young child. Embarrassed Navy officials investigated the pilot and EWO, who quickly confessed, apologized, and deleted images of the sky penis from their phones. Seems they were reprimanded but not seriously punished for their effort. (More Navy stories.)