Man Gets Penis Stuck in Steel Pipe; Firemen Called

There’s no tactful way to relate this story, so here it is: A UK man got his penis so horribly stuck inside of a steel pipe Tuesday that it took seven firefighters and a metal grinder to get it out. The man had initially been rushed to a hospital, but doctors were unable to remove the pipe because restricted blood flow had caused the penis to become too aroused, the Sun reports.

It took firefighters 30 minutes to cut the pipe off, leaving the penis within bruised and swollen, but otherwise unharmed. “It was a very delicate operation that required a very steady hand,” said one fireman. “It’s certainly an unusual call-out and I’m sure the man won’t be getting into that situation again.” The 40-year-old wouldn’t say how he’d gotten into the situation in the first place. In related news, Newser now has a “Less Gossip” button, and yes, using it would have spared you this. (More penis stories.)