Tiger's Not a Billionaire, But He Still Can Be

Tiger Woods is not and has never been a billionaire, writes Devon Pendleton. Yes, he's crossed the billion-dollar mark in career earnings, but that doesn't take into account all his expenses, sundry or otherwise. Pendleton, who tracks such things for Forbes, figures he was worth about $500 million just before the scandal and lays out at True/Slant how he can still make the coveted list:

• Get a book deal, now, while you're still AWOL and publishers are salivating.
• Go on a press tour, either to apologize or bash the media. Doesn't matter. What does is the money everyone will pay for exclusives.
• Do a reality show. "It’s a cliche, yes, but so is cheating on your wife with cheap strippers."
• Get other endorsements. Yes, they're out there, just maybe not as wholesome as they used to be.

"See, it’s not so hard?" writes Pendleton. "All you have to do is monetize your remaining dignity." (More Tiger Woods stories.)