Make Way for the Cherry Coke and Whiskey Parties

The Tea Party movement's not going away and its Coffee Party counterpart has already made its media debut, but America's about a lot more than two measly beverages. Gawker's Adrian Chen lists a few parties that don't exist, but probably should:

• The Long Island Iced Tea Party. Members hate taxes and President Obama, too, but their meetings are a lot more fun and laid back.
• The Monster Energy Drink Party. This one's for the American not yet overstimulated enough to deal with the flood of technology and information. Its Slogan? "Go America! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!"

• The Chocolate Milk Party: blacks and whites united to form a "bi-racial mob" to strike down prejudice everywhere. Asians and Latinos also welcome at their weekly White House beer fests.
• The Whiskey Party. "We need a strong voice supporting the right of citizens to drink/screw/smoke their pain away," says the mission statement of this legalize-everything party.
• The Rubbing Alcohol Party: For those who think Whiskey Party members are lightweights.
• The Cherry Coke Party. You can't buy Cherry Coke in every store, and this party won't rest until such "Cherry Coke Apartheid" is history.

(More Tea Party stories.)