Clearly, Charlie Sheen Is Invincible

What is the deal with Charlie Sheen? He can—and does—perform any number of “unforgivably stupid or impossibly sleazy” actions, the kind of things that would normally destroy a career…yet Charlie “does them about a dozen times a year and gets off clean,” writes Daniel O'Brien in Cracked. The only possible explanation? He’s invincible. Evidence:

• He’s hit rock bottom: “Drug abuse and being an overall trainwreck” have sent many an actor into the “straight-to-DVD” market (see: Lindsay Lohan). But Sheen combined “the hookers, the drugs, the drinking” into “one slimy ball of sex funk,” and still stars in one of the most popular shows in America.

• He has bizarre political views: Even someone who’s paid to be politically nonsensical (see: Glenn Beck) gets taken to task when he goes overboard. Yet Sheen can stage a fake interview between himself and the president about his belief that the 9/11 attacks were an inside job…and no one bats an eyelash.
• He almost stabbed his wife on Christmas Day: “Far be it from me to speculate what would happen if any other celebrity did that but if, say, Zach Braff tried it, I imagine Scrubs would have been canceled a lot sooner.” What happened to Sheen? He got signed for two more seasons.

(More Charlie Sheen stories.)