dumb criminals

Read the latest news stories about dumb criminals on Newser.com

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Farmers Nab, Hog-Tie Bare-Bottomed Burglar

Father and son leave fuel thief for police

(Newser) - A father-son duo caught an alleged thief on their property, tied him up, and left him bare-bottomed in the snow for police to pick up, CNews reports. The farmers had been victims of a string of fuel thefts. When they were notified of a suspicious truck on their land, the...

Man Breaks Into House, Gets Too Drunk to Climb Out

He calls police to help

(Newser) - Time to add another notch in the long list of astonishingly dumb criminals —a Delaware man climbed in a rear window of a house to rob it, and got so drunk inside he was unable to climb back out, say police. His inspired solution? Call 911. The burglar stayed...

Wife Fakes Kidnapping to See if Hubby Would Pay Ransom

She also tells him not to go to police...

(Newser) - Strike this from the list of "Ways to know if my husband truly loves me": A Spanish woman has been detained after faking her own kidnapping to see if her husband would be willing to fork over the ransom money. According to police, she texted him a photo of...

Man Passes Out in Cab— Carrying Tons of Meth

Note to would-be criminals: Stay conscious when running your drugs

(Newser) - Today's dumb criminals lesson: If you're going to take a cab ride while loaded down with almost half a million in drugs, stay conscious. A 25-year-old Chicago man found himself in hot water after flagging down a cab on Christmas, chatting on his phone for a while, then passing out....

Thieves Offer Scrap Dealer $1M Sculpture for $65

Stolen Chillida, Picasso works recovered

(Newser) - A Spanish gang of late contenders for the "Dumbest Criminal of 2010" award offered to sell a scrap merchant an iron sculpture worth close to $1 million ... for just $65, police say. The artwork, by Spanish sculptor Eduardo Chillida, has been recovered, along with works by Pablo Picasso and...

Shopper Cuts Line, Says She'll Shoot Grumblers

Black Friday madness in Madison!

(Newser) - Not a recommended Black Friday shopping strategy: cutting to the front of the line of patiently waiting shoppers ... then threatening to shoot them after they complain. A 21-year-old Wisconsin woman was arrested last night after making just such threats. The incident happened outside a Toys 'R' Us store in Madison...

Robbers Steal Bag of Dough From Pizzeria Owners

...and yep, we mean the kind that ends up in an oven

(Newser) - Another entry in the Dumb Criminals Department : Two men followed the owners of Brother's Pizzeria to their Staten Island home, donned masks, waved guns, and made off with a bag of dough. Except the bag didn't contain the day's cash: It contained—you guessed it—pizza dough. Salvatore LaRosa turned...

Cops Using Facebook to Bust Dumb Criminals

Lack of privacy can be a good thing for investigators

(Newser) - Oversharing on Facebook makes it easier for your boss to fire you , your insurer to hike up your rates , and, apparently, your local police officer to arrest you. It seems not-too-bright criminals have a habit of bragging about their misdeeds on social networking sites—sometimes even including photos—which has...

Man Flees Scene of Crime ... on Riding Mower

Ricky New's getaway wasn't exactly high speed

(Newser) - Proving once again that there is no shortage of not-so-smart criminals, Aiken, SC, police apprehended an alleged robber yesterday who was attempting a getaway ... on his Craftsman riding lawn mower. Ricky New, who we're guessing didn't get very far, has been charged with assault and battery and first-degree armed robbery...

Man Complains to Police About Bad Weed

He said it was 'nasty'—with nasty results

(Newser) - What do you do if the pot you bought isn't of the quality you expected? One dopey Pennsylvania man decided it was best to contact the authorities. The 21-year-old called 911 and claimed the marijuana he had purchased and smoked tasted "nasty." A field test revealed that the...

Man Texts Old Friend Invitation to Smoke Pot

...unfortunately for him, that pal is now a police officer

(Newser) - The ill-advised combination of marijuana and texting claims another victim : A Texas man had the brilliant idea of texting an old friend the question, "So do you smoke weed?" It seems he was looking to get together and smoke some pot he had. Problem is, that old friend, Amanda...

Woman Stabs Man Who Called Her Feet 'Smelly'

Washington teen overreacts to taunting at party, prosecutors say

(Newser) - Smell someone's fragrant feet? Might be best to keep your mouth shut. An 18-year-old Washington woman has been charged with assault after stabbing a fellow partygoer for taunting her about her smelly feet, prosecutors say. Dallas Smith tried and failed to do a backflip, which led to some taunting, the...

Would-Be Abortion Clinic Bomber Caught Via Facebook

FBI busts NC man who posted threats online

(Newser) - Want to bomb an abortion clinic, or anything, for that matter? Maybe don't advertise it on Facebook. A North Carolina man who described himself as "the Christian counterpart of Osama bin Laden" on his Facebook page faces 20 years in prison after Planned Parenthood alerted the FBI to his...

Whoops! Teen Accidentally Texts Sheriff to Buy Marijuana

Phone number mix-up lands kid in hot water

(Newser) - A teenager in Montana learned the hard way that he should have saved his drug dealer's number in his cell phone. Instead, he hit a wrong number when sending a text message, and it went to the county sheriff instead. When the sheriff read, "Hey Dawg, do you have...

Robber Caught After Taunting Cops in Email
Robber Caught After
Taunting Cops in Email
stupid criminals dept
Aug 20, 2010 1:31 PM CDT

Robber Caught After Taunting Cops in Email

They quickly traced it back to him

(Newser) - A German teen was arrested after police traced an email—in which he criticized the investigation of a burglary he had perpetrated—straight back to him, Reuters reports. The 19-year-old taunted cops for getting his age, height, and accent wrong in official reports of a bank theft he'd pulled in...

Bumbling Laptop Theft Spins Wildly Out of Control

Stolen cars and made-up sex tales ensue

(Newser) - Today's doozy from the annals of brilliant criminals: Cops in New Jersey say a 23-year-old and her boyfriend stole a laptop from a parked car. Then, according to police reports, things got interesting: They sped away, promptly crashed into a tree, then tried and failed to set the car on...

Woman Hides in Coffin to Escape Police

Nicole Kelly decides she can't go to jail, so she finds another tiny spot

(Newser) - From the brilliant criminals department: Upon arriving at a correctional facility after being arraigned on two outstanding warrants, a Philadelphia woman decided she "just couldn't do this," wrestled free, and ran away. A still-handcuffed Nicole Kelly, 19, managed to shake the authorities who chased her, ducked into the...

Drunk Robs Fishing Store, Cops Hook His Butt
Drunk Robs Fishing Store, Cops Hook His Butt
STUPID CRIMINALS
Apr 14, 2010 12:40 PM CDT

Drunk Robs Fishing Store, Cops Hook His Butt

German proves not all thieves are the sharpest

(Newser) - The dumb-criminal file has a brilliant new entry from Germany: Police charged a man with breaking into a fishing and hunting shop when they caught him near the store, reports Der Spiegel . He couldn't run quickly because a) he was drunk and b) he fell on fishing hooks in the...

Alleged Jewel Thief Leaves Trail—in Snow

Police had no trouble following suspect to relative's house

(Newser) - Police in Illinois used a cutting-edge technique to apprehend a suspected jewel thief: They followed his footprints in the snow. When a Des Plaines woman came home Tuesday night to find a man rifling through her jewelry, the culprit fled out her back door, reports the Chicago Tribune . Police arrived...

Cops Bust Pot Grower With Fake Ransom Note
 Cops Bust Pot Grower 
 With Fake Ransom Note 
FOOL ME ONCE DEPT.
Jan 7, 2010 9:32 AM CST

Cops Bust Pot Grower With Fake Ransom Note

Florida police didn't think it would work, but then again...

(Newser) - Florida police burned an alleged marijuana grower twice, or perhaps thrice, when they confiscated his crop, left a ransom note, and then arrested him when he answered it. A citizen tipped cops to the six large plants growing on a vacant lot. They grabbed them, and hoping for a bit...

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