dumb criminals

Read the latest news stories about dumb criminals on Newser.com

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Cops: Man Tries to Hawk Drugs While in Court

Pennsylvania man's plan didn't pan out

(Newser) - A 35-year-old man who showed up in a Pittsburgh traffic courtroom Monday to face charges of driving under suspension was apparently feeling either very reckless or more or less invincible (and invisible). The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports that Christopher Durkin had wrapped up his hearing and was heading out of the...

Stoned Drug Traffickers Call 911 on Themselves

They were hauling 20 pounds of pot

(Newser) - It was an unusual 911 call that tipped off police in Rexburg, Idaho, that Leland Ayala-Doliente and Holland Sward had entered the state with 20 pounds of marijuana—because Ayala-Doliente is the one who placed it. As the East Idaho News reports, court documents show that Ayala-Doliente, 22, and Sward,...

Snow Kidding: 5 Craziest Crimes of the Week

Including men with 'outrageous' moves and a can't-be-bothered Canadian

(Newser) - A fouled-up gas-stealing attempt and car that drew double-takes are among the weirdest stories of the week:
  • Worst Clearing-Snow-Off-a-Car Attempt Ever : If you happened to be driving around Brussels, Ontario, this week and saw what appeared to be a small igloo driving around, you may have witnessed an 80-year-old man
...

Brilliant Thieves Suck Bus Fuel— Er, No, Sewage

Mmmppfpfffpfpf

(Newser) - Turns out that stealing gas from a tour bus is more nuanced than one might think, as demonstrated by a would-be thief or set of thieves earlier this month in Australia. In what the Mirror refers to as a simple case of "mixing up poo and petrol," Laverton...

Cops: Kidnapper Could Be 'Dumbest Criminal of Year'

He allegedly scheduled a meeting with the victim and actually showed up for it

(Newser) - "If he can survive the remaining 340-some days of the year, he will definitely win the dumbest criminal of the year," Philly.com quotes police chief David Splain. The dumb criminal in question is Pennsylvania 17-year-old Jason Hayes, who is charged with kidnapping and robbing an old woman...

Guy Calls Judge the N-Word, Gets Thrown in Jail

Adam Satterly held in contempt of court on Monday

(Newser) - A white man in Louisville, Ky., will spent time in jail for using a racial slur in a courtroom hallway, seconds after an interaction with a black judge. Adam Satterly could be heard yelling "punk ass n*****" immediately after Judge Olu Stevens revoked his bond on drug charges Monday....

Cops: Teen Bank Robber Was Trapped in Doors

Detroit teen was imprisoned within moments of receiving cash

(Newser) - A teenage would-be bank robber in Detroit found himself imprisoned—and presumably regretting one or two life choices—within seconds of being handed money at a bank on Monday, police say. A police spokesman tells the Detroit Free Press that the 15-year-old gave a teller a note claiming he had...

Man Killed Trying to Steal From Condom Machine

German trio blew up machine

(Newser) - In what must rank among the bleakest Christmas stories of this or any other year, a German man died on Christmas Day during a failed attempt to steal money from a condom machine. Police in Schoeppingen, near the Dutch border, say the man was killed by a flying piece of...

Taco Shop Turns Burglary Footage Into Awesome Ad

Video mocking burglars has been viewed 2M times

(Newser) - Most restaurant owners would worry a burglary might scare away customers. Frijoles & Frescas Grilled Tacos in Las Vegas is turning its break-in into an advertisement. The eatery's security cameras caught three men robbing the restaurant around 3:30am on Dec. 16, but police have yet to track them...

Watch: Man Loses Money Stealing Tip Jar

His crime didn't add up

(Newser) - Danny Ocean, he's not. UPI reports a thief was operating at a loss when he made off with a restaurant's tip jar while leaving behind the food he'd already paid for Friday in New Zealand. Security footage from Nando's Riccarton shows a man putting a tip...

'F--k Cops' Tattoo Helps Nail Oklahoma Robbery Suspect

The horns on the suspect's head didn't help, either

(Newser) - It wasn't that difficult for cops to track down two suspects after an Oklahoma man called in a robbery attempt on Friday: one suspect was the victim's ex-girlfriend, while the other sported face tattoos that are hard to miss, the Tulsa World reports. The unnamed victim told cops...

Drunk-Driving Suspect Crashes, Tries to Hide in Nativity Scene

UK man was likely too big to fit in the manger

(Newser) - "Jesus Saves" probably doesn't refer to getting someone off the hook for a crime, as one suspected drunk driver recently found out in the UK. A man slammed his Mini Cooper into a metal barrier in Yorkshire on Saturday and then fled the scene, seeking sanctuary from law...

Why It's Unwise to Grow 734 Pot Plants Near Drug Dogs

It turns out they smell these things

(Newser) - Vienna police say they have discovered a plantation with more than 700 marijuana plants at a warehouse close to a police dog center. Police say one of their dogs caught a whiff of the plants in the Austrian capital's Floridsdorf district on Friday morning. Officers then saw a man...

Man Tried to Electrocute Dad on Thanksgiving: Cops

The older man reportedly passed out briefly

(Newser) - A central Florida man is accused of trying to electrocute his father after finding out he was the sole beneficiary of the elderly man's will. Ormond Beach police said Monday that 81-year-old John Knudsen told them his 44-year-old son, also named John Knudsen, held two black wires to his...

Spelling Error Gets Woman Busted for Poisoning

It's 'dignity,' not 'dignerty'

(Newser) - Here's one reason you might want to pay attention to your spelling lessons, kids: They may come in handy one day should you ever want to ... poison your husband? Behold, the strange case of Jacqueline Patrick. The 55-year-old British woman tried to fatally poison her husband not once, but...

Phone Thief's Mistake: So Many Selfies

They were uploaded to iCloud of stolen phone's owner

(Newser) - People just don't learn , do they? A woman who allegedly stole a high school student's iPhone in California has given police a break in the case thanks to … a selfie—or rather, several of them. Police say an as-yet unidentified woman approached the 15-year-old student in El...

Woman's Ill-Advised Halloween Stunt: Petting a Tiger

She might lose parts of her fingers as a result

(Newser) - Halloween really did involve horror for an Omaha., Neb., woman who reportedly slipped into a zoo and stuck her hand in a tiger cage. Police say Jacqueline Eide, 33, jumped a fence into Henry Doorly Zoo as early as 4am on Sunday and headed for Mai, an 18-year-old Malayan tiger....

'Cupcake Burglar' Busted Thanks to Frosting

It wasn't hard for Michigan police to track her down

(Newser) - A home burglary in Alpena, Mich., was solved pretty quickly, thanks to some literal icing. Cops say a woman broke into a home early Sunday, knocking over a tray of cupcakes and other items before she fled when the homeowner confronted her, Michigan Live reports. Police found the suspect a...

Alleged Jewelry Thieves Left Parting Gift in Guest Book

Tip: Don't leave contact info if you're going to lift valuables from an art gallery

(Newser) - Signing the guest book at a wedding or funeral: fine. Signing one at an art gallery you're accused of stealing from: not the best idea. That's what one Florida couple allegedly did Saturday night when they visited ICFA Gallery in Palm Beach, reportedly lifting the owner's gold...

Fla. Man Picks Absolute Worst Time to Hit Deputy's Car

While allegedly drunk, at a pot bust

(Newser) - Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and in the wrong state of mind. Deputies and aviation unit members from the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office had just made a head-turning find in a mangrove patch near Tampa, Fla., Sunday night when a second head-turning thing...

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